BRICK TOWNSHIP, NJ — The soft hum of amplifier feedback awkwardly filled the room, as Aaron Faulk — 22-year-old rhythm guitarist AND lead vocalist — of the local metal band Rigor Mortis brings rehearsal to a screeching halt. “I think we all need to pay a little more attention to the drums, okay Tom? And Brian could you try to come in a little sooner, so the rhythm guitar and the bass are synced — that’d be great. Alright, lets take it from the top now,” implored Faulk, offering the brightest smile as he casually berated his band mates. Several minutes later, Faulk paused rehearsal again to offer constructive criticism: “wait, wait, wait, wait, I don’t think we’re all on the same page when it comes the musical direction of the band, and if I’m not doing a good job you guys can say so — if not, Jason, you can actually try to listen some of my advice. We’d already be well on our way to stardom if we could all learn to take direction better,” Faulk said, with nothing but sunshine and rainbows in his eyes.

Tom, Brian, and Jason, Faulk’s band mates, don’t seem to mind the weekly battering Faulk dishes out. “Honestly it gives us more pleasure than pain to watch him grow increasingly frustrated with us, and try to keep a cool head,” said Tom, lead guitar. “Plus, the three of us have our own group Aaron doesn’t know about, and it’s a lot less third-reichy,” added Jason, drums. At press time band mates were seen at a local bar ignoring calls and texts from Faulk.