Park City, UT — Three cancelled hangout sessions and several dodged phone calls were the straw that broke local man Brian Parker’s, 29, back.  Despite sitting with Parker on the bench at recess for two months when he broke his foot in 2nd grade, and being there for him the first and b second time Shannon McPherson dumped him, Aaron Stewart’s fate had been sealed.

According to Parker, Stewart, formerly one of Parker’s closest friends, 28, condition has been in worsening since he came back from his semester abroad in the Czech Republic during their junior year in college. “When he came back, he just kept saying things like ‘I have a totally new world view,’ and ‘you wouldn’t get it, you haven’t been to Prague’ while continuously acting like a douche bag,” reported Parker. “…I mean who calls someone to tell them they really appreciate your friendship and they’d really want to hang out with you, then cancels plans they made with you, on three separate occasions, and dodges all your calls after that?!” added Parker. “I just don’t know what to do.”

At press time, The Bureau of Shitty Friends confirmed that Aaron Stewart will be added to the registry of “friend-offenders”, requiring that Stewart notify any, and all, future acquaintances, including pets, of his status as a shitty friend.