LONG BEACH, CA — Local man Dustin Jacobs, 27, was forced to dig into the deepest, most creative, recesses of his mind to combat yet another perfectly sensible solution to one of his many self-contrived problems. “I just don’t think that’s a good idea,” moaned Jacobs to his exhausted coworkers, “what if she thinks I’m being too pushy, or even worse: passive aggressive.” At press time, Jacobs had still not resolved his initial problem, instead finding 3 more, sources confirmed.