Posted in Culture

Get it Together Jews — How the FUCK do you Spell Hanukkah?

Seriously, figure it out.

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Posted in Culture Enterainment

How Has No One Accused Bill Maher of Anything Yet?

Los Angeles, CA — Yet another week has passed, and the chauvinistic hills of Hollywood continue to crumble, and rightfully so.  As new predators emerge,…

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Posted in Tech The News at A Glance

MAN WITH 20 APPS OPEN SIMULTANEOUSLY HAS NO IDEA WHY PHONE DYING SO FAST.

 

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Posted in Culture Social

CITY PUMPING OUT PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC’S LIKE HOT CAKES

New York, NY — Mayor Bill De Blasio came out in celebration this past week, after New York City was named the best city in…

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Posted in Culture Education U.S.

FLORIDA STATE TO OFFER MASTERS IN TAILGATING AND DATE RAPE.

TALLAHASSEE, FL —  Starting this spring Florida State University will be offering a masters program in tailgating and date rape.  The program, which features classes…

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Posted in Health

FLACCID PENIS EXPOSURE HIGHER THAN GENERAL PRACTITIONER IMAGINED

BOSTON, MA — Local man and general practitioner, Gregory Mansfield, MD, 38, confirmed on this past Wednesday that he never imagined he’d have to see…

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Posted in Enterainment Tech The News at A Glance

67% of TWEEN GAMERS HAVE FUK’D UR MUM

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Posted in Social

MAN’S ASS CRACK ALWAYS SHOWING

JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local man Andy Hodge went about his week seemingly unaware of the devastation the deep, dark, crevasse betwixt his lumbering, thunder-thighs was…

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Posted in The News at A Glance

FLOCK SEAGULLS WALK DOWN BEACH LIKE THEY OWN IT

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Posted in Business Economics

TAXI FEATURES MOST UNRESPONSIVE TOUCH SCREEN EVER.

NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Bill de Blasio was pleased to announce a new fleet of hybrid electric taxis this week, capable of achieving upwards…

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