SAVANNAH, GA — local man, Andy Lutz, 26, reportedly spent last Sunday night relentlessly high-fiving anyone and everyone in sight. A perfect storm of vodka-red bulls, and the recent demise of Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers reportedly fueled the onslaught of high-fives from Lutz. “GO FALCONS!” bellowed Lutz, thrusting both his hands into the faces of his increasingly exasperated friends, eagerly waiting for someone to “give ’em five.”
Sensing the contempt of his compatriots Lutz turned his unmatched enthusiasm outward, beginning with an attempt at a running high-five with all the bar patrons and ending with a glass shattering high-five to the bar’s framed picture of Elvis Presley. “I really hope that guy’s hands are going to be okay — they were really red, and starting to swell,” a concerned bystander said. At press time, Lutz could be seen high-fiving the quasi racist Italian chef statue outside of the pizza place, across the street.
