NEW YORK, NY — As the clock strikes 3:01 A.M., an entire nation looks on with terror as electromagnetic waves containing threats of war and hate speech depart from the New York skyline and enter the Twitter ecosystem.

The most recent war-sparking tweet came after heavy drinking session featuring the President-Elect and the CEO of Goldman Sachs. It reads, “I have The Best cabinet members. The Best. Unlike France which is run by ISIS. Sad!” At press time, the French Ambassador was unavailable for comment.