Los Angeles, CA — Yet another week has passed, and the chauvinistic hills of Hollywood continue to crumble, and rightfully so.  As new predators emerge, men formerly considered  titans in the film industry are reduced to rubble. However, the real question on everyone’s mind is: how has no one  accused Bill Maher of anything yet?

“I mean, c’mon. Surely, this dick head has done some reprehensible shit to someone and tried to cover it up, right?” asked one production assistant from studio 33, where the show is filmed. “Anyone willing to call themselves a ‘house ni**er’ on TV has to have skeletons in the closet,” confirmed an outraged citizen. While Maher has seemingly always been at the center of some controversy, it comes to as a surprise, to many, that no one has pinned him as a voyeur, exhibitionist, or some other form of sexual predator yet. “Yeah, that is strange — I bet him and Ann Coulter take turns strap-on-hate-fucking each other as Christian Grey, in a disgusting role play fantasy,” added another production assistant, on an unrelated note.

At press time, a crowd began to gather outside of studio 33, demanding someone accuse Maher of something — anything — remotely taboo or inappropriate that could cause him to loose his job, or otherwise end up in hot water.