PHANTOM NATION OF COAL MINERS MOST CATERED TO DEMOGRAPHIC IN U.S.
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following President Trump’s decision to pull out of the Paris Agreement earlier this month, the Census Advisory Committee released a special report…
AREA MAN DISAPPOINTED RESTAURANT OUT OF MENU ITEM
MYRTLE BEACH, SC — Area man Todd Grainger was overcome with great sadness today, after attempting to order an unavailable food item from local restaurant, Sandy’s…
CALL CENTER EMPLOYEE HORRIFIED PERSON BROKE THROUGH AUTOMATIC RESPONSE LOOP
BISMARCK, ND — Instant ramen scalded the lap of startled Jason Orlando, 37, as the voice of a frustrated customer filled his headset. “Umm, hello?!…
MISERABLE WOMAN ORDERS BAGEL SCOOPED OUT
LOS ANGELES, CA — Sources inside Lenny’s Bagels, in downtown Los Angeles, confirmed, on Friday, that miserable crone, and unpleasant woman, Kathy McMahon, 47, ordered…
FOOD ORDER COMES WAY TOO FAST.
ST. LOUIS, MO — Mere moments after placing their order, local couple, Jane Lovett and Matthew Rodgers’s, appetizers hit the table. “Wow, that was fast!”…
FRIDAY GYM-GOER TO COUNTERACT WEEKEND ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION WITH 20 MINUTE WORKOUT.
AUSTIN, TEXAS — Members of planet fitness in downtown Austin plan to desparately flail their limbs, in a futile — albiet honorable –attempt to counteract…
REPORT: 90% OF EVERYTHING BOSS SAYS COMPLETE HORSESHIT.
ATLANTA, GA — A striking new study from Georgia Tech revealed today that nearly everything your boss says might as well be coming directly from…
TRUMP: “I AM AMERICA’S ST. PATRICK, AND I WILL GET RID OF THE SNAKES!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump took to the podium last night in a press conference, which, quite frankly, shocked almost no one. “Listen up people,…
ANTHONY HOPKINS AND KEVIN HART TO CO-STAR IN BUDDY COP FILM.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Armed and Dangerous, a feel-good-action-comedy, is set to release during blockbuster season 2018. The film follows James Brick (Kevin Hart), a…
RESTAURANT LOOKS LIKE FRONT FOR MONEY LAUNDERING OPERATION
NEW YORK, NY — Situated in the heart of the financial district, local restaurant China Chalet seemingly hasn’t served a customer in months. The Chalet,…