Cincinnati, OH — The feeling of impending dread brewed in the stomach of local man Brian Shore, 31, as he read the latest message in a two-month-long string of unanswered texts, from long-time friend, Mike Dispatino.

“Oh god, I can’t keep blowing him off forever,” scoffed Shore. “Sooner or later I’m going to have to respond to one of these asinine text messages and waste a Saturday night, babysitting Mike at a college bar, as he relentlessly hits on barely-legal college-girls.” Shore continued.

Sources close to Shore confirmed that he and Dispatino had been growing apart for some time now, siting Dispoatino’s inability to “grow up already”.

At press time, Dispatino could be seen sending the same message to roughly 50% of his contacts, looking for someone, anyone, to “grab a quick drink with”.